Mood of Eminence

On a more serious note, I have a few thoughts for the next couple of posts.

I want to do something important. Amazing. Fantastic.  I want to—it’s like this urge to stop sitting around. I want to go outside, but as soon as I get there I get cold and lose the motivation I had two seconds ago, but I want to go. I want to do something different. I want to get a book and fill it with my thoughts and pictures and poems and be good. Like this sudden urge to be more than I am will correct everything and anything in the two minutes that I have it for. I want to do something amazing and then I occupy myself and I’m done. I don’t feel the thrill anymore, or the need and that’s okay. The mediocrity is okay again. I’m okay with it, but not really. I just stopped thinking about it. Or I was like “Well I’ve been doing stuff, it’s not like I always sit around. I go to school. I’m going to be a nurse. This is my time to just do nothing. I have a right to do nothing. Right? I mean I got straight A’s and a 4.0, so I did plenty of stuff. Why can’t I just do nothing? I mean why do I feel bad just sitting around?” But then the thought goes away and I’m fine watching movies and reading away the day and hanging out with my family. That’s it.